I had another session with my EAP (Employee Assistance Program) therapist recently, and she said something that really had me thinking deeply, long after the session had ended.
She described a pattern she sees in me – that when life throws a torpedo my way, I don’t collapse.
Instead, I instinctively ask:
Ok, what can we make with this?
She gave an example: most people would look at an empty cupboard and think, “We’ve got no food!” – but I tend to say, “Well, we’ve got this and that – I wonder what I can make with it?”
And the funny thing is, that’s not just true figuratively – it’s true literally.There have been so many times I’ve found myself standing in front of an almost-empty cupboard, feeling a flicker of excitement. Not panic, but curiosity. What can I create with this? What can I make that’s actually good? I enjoy the challenge!
I’m pretty sure that instinct started early. My mum was a single mother of six, and I often saw her pull together meals from what looked like nothing. That kind of creativity and determination left an impression on me.
But this blog post isn’t about my approach to cooking, it’s about how I move through life.
More Than Just Making Lemonade
People often talk about “making lemonade from lemons,” but for me, it’s something different. It’s not just about turning a bad situation into something sweet. It’s about seeing potential in what seems like nothing – about being able to stand in front of an empty cupboard, literally or metaphorically, and create something of value.
But my therapist explained that this goes beyond positive thinking. It’s about resourcefulness, problem-solving, and resilience. It’s about asking, “What can I make with this?” instead of, “Why can’t things just go right?”
The Planner and the Improviser
Over time, I’ve realised this instinct – this ability to make something out of nothing – comes from two distinct but deeply connected parts of me:
The Planner and Provider:
The part of me that always makes sure we’re stocked, safe, and prepared. The one who double-checks the pantry, keeps a mental inventory, loves a good spreadsheet, and finds comfort in being ready.
The Improviser:
The part of me that comes alive when things aren’t perfect. The one who can turn limitations into possibilities – who doesn’t just “make do” but creates something meaningful from whatever is available.
These two parts don’t always get along. One tries to maintain control; the other thrives on freedom – the freedom to create, to adapt, to make something out of nothing.
Where This Mindset Comes From
This isn’t just a quirky personality trait – it’s a survival strategy I developed a long time ago. In a previous session, my therapist helped me understand how these parts are developed early in life:
The Inner Child:
The younger me who learned that love and safety came from being capable, from holding things together, from making sure everyone else was ok. She’s still there, paddling furiously under the surface, always asking:
Am I there yet? When will this ever be enough?
The Inner Taskmaster:
The hyper-responsible, achievement-driven part of me who developed to protect that inner child. The one who believes that my worth is tied to my output – that if I’m always prepared, always performing, I’ll be safe.
Together, they fuel the Planner and the Improviser.
They’ve helped me succeed in the corporate world – made me strong, capable, and reliable.
But they’ve also kept everything feeling urgent. Even now, with space and choice, those voices don’t always quieten.
I’ve spent much of my life trying to be prepared for anything, making sure nothing is ever lacking, because part of me believes I must always be ready and capable – always “enough.”
More Than Just Resilience – Recognition
What stood out most in that session was how my therapist described it. Her words helped me feel seen. Not just understood, but truly recognised. It was like she named something I’ve always felt deep down but never had the language for.
She helped me see the value in a skill I’d built to survive, and even thrive.
That kind of insight is powerful. When someone reflects you back to yourself in a way that makes you pause and say:
Yes. That’s me.
More Than Just Survival
But it’s not just about me.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “That sounds a bit like me,” I want you to know you’re not alone.
So many of us carry self-doubt, a sense that we’re never doing quite enough, or that we have to keep proving ourselves to feel safe. We run on urgency and perfectionism because we’ve been wired that way.
But we also carry something else: the ability to adapt, create, and thrive – even when it feels like we have nothing to work with.
We see possibilities that others miss, turning “not enough” into “something meaningful.”
The Practice of Resourcefulness
I want this insight to become part of how I live, not just something I know.
I’m trying to hold onto this in my own life and through Nostos Nest, I want to share stories of the challenges – but also the strengths those challenges have given me.
Traits like resilience, adaptability, and creativity didn’t appear out of nowhere – they were born from difficult experiences. But I choose to see them not as burdens, but as superpowers.
It means that next time I open the cupboard – whether it’s my actual kitchen cupboard, or just my energy, my time, my sense of self – I won’t immediately declare that there’s “nothing there.”
Instead, I’ll pause.
I’ll acknowledge what’s missing.
Let myself feel it.
And then I’ll gently ask:
What can we make with this?
Because sometimes the most nourishing things come from the moments we thought we had nothing to offer.
Final Thoughts
This isn’t about being endlessly optimistic or ignoring problems. It’s about recognising a strength that goes beyond resilience – the ability to create value, meaning, and even beauty from whatever we have.
Sometimes that means making a meal out of an almost empty cupboard. Sometimes it means creating something new when a door closes. And sometimes it means simply seeing ourselves differently – not as “not enough,” but as infinitely capable.
So the next time life throws something unexpected your way, before you panic, ask yourself:
What can I make with this?
Because the answer might surprise you.
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