Last year, my word of the year was authenticity. This year, it’s freedom.
Freedom because of authenticity. Freedom from twisting and reshaping myself to fit into something more palatable or promotable. Freedom from the mental gymnastics of trying to be “professional” enough, “strategic” enough, or “connected” enough.
Authenticity in sales is more than just a strategy – it’s a commitment to being honest, clear, and human in every conversation. And recently, something happened that reminded me why I hold this value so close – even, or especially – when it comes to sales.
When Sales Doesn’t Feel Like Sales
I’m not claiming to be an expert in sales, but I have spent time in sales roles. It was never really my jam, but I did well. I even made it to the annual event for top performers once – the kind of incentive trip that tells you you’ve nailed the metrics.
But I never followed the script. The one thing I did consistently was show up as myself. No pressure tactics. No fake scarcity. No pretending to care just to get a meeting. Just honesty.
One of my proudest moments in a sales role – the year I made it to the top performers event – was when we were invited to respond to a particular RFP (Request for Proposal). We knew it had gone out to about 20 other implementation partners. We could have followed the standard path: spend hours crafting a polished response, play the game, hope we stood out.
Instead, I emailed the client and said:
“You’ve got a strong shortlist. There’s no doubt we could deliver what you need – we’re the vendor of the platform you’re implementing – but we wouldn’t do it the way this RFP frames it. So instead of submitting a response that doesn’t reflect how we’d work with you, we’re opting out. If you need support later, we’re here.”
The client was intrigued and wanted a follow up conversation.
To cut a long story short – we won the deal.
No deck. No hustle. Just honesty.
When Sales Feels Like a Setup
Fast forward to now.
Whilst on “gardening leave” after redundancy at the end of a fourteen year career at a major tech company, I was taking time to reflect and plan what’s next.
I went to an event, drawn by genuine interest in the topic and the people in that space. I chatted with someone there, we connected on LinkedIn, and I planned to follow up – it was a real conversation.
Then came the email.
Not from the person I’d chatted to, but from someone else at a different company. Someone I don’t remember meeting. Someone I hadn’t given my contact details to.
The email started like this (and I’m paraphrasing, but the tone is familiar):
“My colleague attended an event recently and spoke very highly of you…”
Followed by a vague request to have a chat.
Flattered, I replied. I gave my number and suggested a casual phone call. I was more than happy to have a casual chat that very afternoon.
Instead, I received a formal meeting invite. At my company’s office. For a workshop.
The thing is – I’d been made redundant. I was on gardening leave. I wasn’t even at the office.
So I replied again, asking what the meeting was actually about.
Cue the follow-up email – same opening line about how impressed the colleague was (again, who?), and then a bunch of name-drops and product promotion. Suddenly I was being asked if I could get them an intro to someone at my workplace.
At that point, it was clear: this wasn’t a real connection. It was a lead-generation tactic. Someone likely wrote down names at the event and passed them over to the sales team. No context. No care. Just a vague pitch wrapped in flattery.
Why This Felt Wrong
What bothered me wasn’t that someone contacted me. I get it – sales is part of business. What bothered me was the lack of authenticity:
- Using a False Connection as a Sales Tactic: Someone at the event must have noted my name, guessed my email, and passed it to the sales team – despite me having no direct conversation with them.
- Manipulative Flattery: The message was clearly scripted, with generic praise designed to create a false sense of connection.
- No Transparency: Instead of being upfront about the purpose of the contact, they hid it behind a friendly introduction.
- A Missed Opportunity for Real Connection: I’d already said I was happy to have a casual chat and even gave my number. They could have called and had a real conversation, which might have led to the intro they wanted. Instead, they turned it into a formal meeting request and scripted email – missing the chance to connect genuinely.
This is the difference between authentic sales and manipulative sales. Authenticity in sales is about showing up honestly, respecting the other person, and being clear about your intentions.
A Better Approach – How to Make Sales Authentic
If you really want to connect with someone – especially someone in a big company or someone with a platform – try this instead:
- Reach Out Personally: If you were the one who had the great chat, or was impressed by something someone said – then you follow up. Don’t outsource the relationship.
- Reference Something Real: What was it about the conversation that stuck with you? What was it they said that impressed you? Mention it.
- Be Upfront: If you have something to offer, or something you want, say so – don’t hide it behind vague “let’s catch up” emails.
- Check Your Intentions: Are you reaching out to connect, or to convert? Be honest with yourself.
- Respect Boundaries: Don’t contact someone just because you’ve managed to find or guess their email – especially if they haven’t given it to you directly.
Authenticity isn’t just a buzzword. It’s a filter – it separates the genuine from the performative. People can feel it when they’re just a checkbox in a CRM. They can also feel when they’re being seen.
This is the real difference between authentic sales and manipulative sales: one builds trust, the other erodes it. Authenticity means showing up honestly, respecting the other person, and being clear about your intentions.
The Bottom Line: Authenticity in Sales is About Trust
I’m still shaping what’s next, but one thing is certain: whatever I build will be grounded in authenticity.
Sales doesn’t have to be a game of manipulation. It doesn’t have to feel like a setup. It can be an act of service – a genuine effort to help, solve a problem, or connect someone with something that matters.
That approach might not tick every traditional box. But I’ve seen how well it works – and how much better it feels. I’d rather build slower with real connection than scale fast with scripts that don’t feel like me.
Because when you lead with authenticity, you may not always win the deal – but you will always earn trust. And in the long run, trust builds something far more powerful than any scripted pitch ever could.
Final Thoughts: Authenticity Is Important In Everything
Authenticity isn’t just a sales tactic – it’s a way of being. Whether you’re in sales, leadership, friendships, or any other part of life, being real matters.
It means saying what you mean without hiding behind scripts. It means respecting people enough to be honest with them, even if it means walking away from a deal or a conversation.
If you’re tired of pretending, exhausted by the pressure to perform, or frustrated by surface-level interactions, know this: you’re not alone. Authenticity is a choice – and it’s one you can make every day.
Whether you’re selling, leading, or simply trying to build better relationships – it’s possible to meet your goals without losing your integrity. I know, because I’ve done it – by showing up as myself.
And here’s what I’ve learned: when you stop trying to be what you think people want and start showing up as who you really are, everything feels more grounded.
The work feels better. You feel better. There’s a deeper sense of ease, trust, and alignment – like your inner world and outer actions finally match.
So here’s something to reflect on:
What’s one small way you could bring more authenticity into your next conversation?
- Maybe it’s being upfront about your intention.
- Maybe it’s owning what you don’t know.
- Maybe it’s choosing connection over strategy.
Because in the end, the relationships you build through honesty will always outlast the ones built on tactics that put the outcome above the person.
When you lead with who you are – not just what you offer – everything changes. Because there’s nothing more powerful than authenticity. It doesn’t just open doors – it opens hearts.
And in a world where AI can follow a script better than any human ever could, being real is no longer a nice-to-have – it’s the one thing only humans can do.
Connection can’t be automated. Sincerity can’t be outsourced.
If we want to stay relevant – and truly make an impact – we have to be our real selves.
Because our real selves are always our best selves.
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