I feel a deep frustration when I hear stories of people being mistreated at work – not just because it happens far too often, but because silence protects the system when people aren’t safe to share what’s really happening. Psychological safety is a legal and ethical obligation, yet too many workplaces fall short, leaving employees feeling they have no real choice but to walk away.
I hear the same reasoning over and over:
It’s not worth it. The company will always win. HR is there to protect the business. I don’t want to risk my career.
So people leave quietly. They don’t want to rock the boat.
And here’s the problem: when silence protects the system, nothing changes. The workplace carries on, the patterns of behaviour continue, and the next person is treated the same way.
Why People Stay Silent
I understand why it happens. Speaking up at work comes with risk – or at least the fear of risk.
- Fear of retaliation: Will I be seen as “difficult” or “not a team player”?
- Career limiting moves: Will this follow me, or hurt my chances of promotion?
- Stress and exhaustion: After you’ve been mistreated, the last thing you want is the emotional toll of a battle.
- Confidentiality walls: Even if you do speak up, you may never know what action was taken. That uncertainty can make it feel pointless.
There’s also the psychological side: when you’ve been undermined or mistreated, your confidence takes a hit. You start to question whether what you experienced was really “bad enough” to raise. This self-doubt is exactly what toxic workplace culture relies on – because if you convince yourself it’s easier to leave, that silence protects the system, and they avoid accountability.
And while leaving may protect you in the short term, silence is what allows poor behaviour to embed itself as culture.
When the Fear of Speaking Up Feels Too Real
For many people, the fear of being pushed out after speaking up isn’t hypothetical. It comes from things they’ve seen or experienced firsthand. When this fear takes hold in a workplace, it reveals a lot about its culture.
But here’s the distinction that often gets overlooked:
when someone says “If I speak up, I’ll get fired,” they’re describing a lack of psychological safety. Not the act of speaking up itself, but the environment that makes honesty feel dangerous.
Recognising that difference is important, because it shifts the focus from “What if I say something wrong?” to “Why does my workplace make this feel risky in the first place?”
What You Can Do When You’re Afraid of Retaliation
You don’t have to jump straight into formal action. There are lower-risk ways to challenge the pattern without putting yourself at unnecessary risk:
- Use indirect, low-risk pathways: Start with conversations about impact rather than accusation, and only with people you genuinely trust.
A helpful structure here is the SBI model (Situation, Behaviour, Impact). It keeps the focus on what happened, what was observed, and the effect it had, rather than making it personal or emotive. This approach reduces defensiveness and allows you to speak up without escalating too quickly. - Create documentation for yourself: Not to prepare a case (although it can help if you need it later), but to gain clarity. Patterns become easier to see when they’re written down.
- Speak up collectively where possible: When concerns come from multiple people, it’s harder for organisations to ignore and safer for each individual.
- Use exit channels if you choose to leave: Prioritising your wellbeing is valid. But exit feedback gives you a low-risk way to ensure the behaviour doesn’t go unchallenged.
- Seek external advice before acting: This isn’t escalating – it’s simply understanding your options so you’re not navigating the situation alone.
A Reality We Don’t Often Acknowledge
There are workplaces where speaking up leads to genuine improvement. And there are workplaces where speaking up simply reveals a deeper cultural problem that you didn’t create.
Either way, the presence of fear doesn’t mean your experience isn’t valid. It means the workplace has failed in its responsibility to keep people safe.
And this is exactly why silence protects the system: when people don’t feel safe enough to tell the truth, the system is the only one that benefits.
The Impact When Silence Protects the System
Every time a person leaves quietly, the behaviour goes unchecked. The same manager or colleague continues on, and someone else eventually faces the same treatment. The cycle repeats.
It doesn’t just affect individuals – it shapes culture. Workplaces that aren’t held accountable keep operating in ways that harm staff, sometimes for years. Morale drops, people stop trusting HR, and good employees disengage because they see bad behaviour rewarded with silence.
The ripple effect spreads further than the immediate team. When word gets around that raising concerns is “pointless,” others stop reporting issues too. Trust erodes. Psychological safety at work disappears. Eventually, the entire organisation becomes a place where speaking up is discouraged – not because it’s banned outright, but because everyone silently knows the risks.
That’s the hidden cost when silence protects the system: people leave, but the culture remains broken.
My Experience of Speaking Up
I’ve been on both sides of this. There were times when I spoke up and saw immediate action. It reminded me that speaking up at work can create real change.
But there was also a time when I raised an issue about someone’s behaviour and only a small action was taken. I appreciated that my manager responded, but it didn’t feel like much changed. Their advice was for me to try to distance myself from that person. I didn’t push it further – and for a while, I felt disappointed in myself for letting it go. Part of me wondered if my not pursuing it harder meant this person was able to carry on treating others the same way.
Later, other colleagues raised concerns about the same person – but this time, they went to HR. I chose to back them up. It felt like my opportunity to do more, to support them in a way I hadn’t before.
Once something goes to HR, it will be discussed with that person’s manager. For certain, it would have come up in their one-on-one. That matters. Sometimes people don’t change immediately. Sometimes they don’t change at all. But nothing changes if the behaviour is never named.
I had tried to get the message through myself, and it hadn’t landed. But when the same feedback comes from multiple people – and from voices they have to listen to – it has a better chance of getting through. Even if I’ll never know the exact outcome, I believe that adding my voice made a difference.
And in this particular case, that person did eventually leave the company. I may never know the full story, but I choose to believe that speaking up at work – mine and others’ – played a role.
How to Find Out Your Rights
Knowing your rights is one of the most powerful tools you can have. Workplaces often rely on people not knowing what protections exist, or assuming “the company will always win.” That’s not always true.
Here are some starting points for employee rights in the workplace:
- Australia:
- Fair Work Ombudsman – workplace rights, protections, and how to raise issues.
- Safe Work Australia – guidance on psychological safety and health and safety laws.
- United States:
- EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) – protections from discrimination and harassment.
- OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Administration) – information on workplace safety and mental health.
- United Kingdom:
- ACAS (Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service) – advice on grievances, disputes, and rights.
- Health and Safety Executive – guidance on stress and mental health at work.
- If you’re in another country:
- Try searching:
“employee rights in the workplace [your country]”
“psychological safety at work laws [your country]”
“government workplace health and safety [your country]” - Using “government” in your search – can help filter out private blogs or law firms, and take you to the official labour authority or health and safety regulator in your country.
- Try searching:
Even just reading these resources can make you feel more equipped – and less alone – when deciding how to act.
Finding the Balance Between Silence and Speaking Up
Here’s the truth: there is a balance.
- Sometimes protecting yourself means walking away quietly. That choice is valid, and no one should feel guilty for prioritising their wellbeing.
- Sometimes speaking up is worth it, even if you don’t see the outcome. It adds to a record, a pattern, a chorus of voices that can’t be ignored forever.
And there are shades in between. You don’t always have to go in “all guns blazing.” You might start by having a private conversation with a trusted manager, or logging an incident so there’s a record, or joining your voice to others who are speaking up. Even these smaller actions chip away at the silence.
Because while one voice can be dismissed, many voices together are harder to ignore. That’s how real culture change begins – by not letting silence protect the system or allowing toxic workplace culture to thrive unchecked.
Final Thoughts
If you take nothing else from this, let it be this: silence protects the system, not the people.
Speaking up doesn’t always lead to immediate change, but it plants a seed. And when those seeds are planted by enough people, things do shift.
If you’re in this position yourself, here are some simple, practical steps you can take before deciding what balance feels right for you:
- Document incidents while they’re fresh – even if you never use them, they give you clarity.
- Seek allies – sometimes speaking up at work together feels safer than going it alone.
- Get external advice – from workplace rights bodies, unions, or professional networks.
None of these steps commit you to a fight, but they give you options. And options mean power.
So if you’ve been mistreated at work, know your rights. Protect yourself where you need to. But also remember: whether you see the result or not, your voice matters.
Because silence may feel safe in the moment – but silence protects the system, never the people who come after you.
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