The other day, I walked a friend back to her office after lunch. As we stepped into the lobby, we bumped into a group of people in suits, gathered near the lifts, mid-conversation about something work-related. They were clearly in the zone – animated, focused, tightly wound in that high-stakes, meeting-ready energy that used to be second nature to me.
She introduced me as “ex-Salesforce,” and a few in the group lit up – they has also previously worked there. Before I could say much, someone asked:
So are you working here now?
I smiled, shook my head, and explained that I had only recently been made redundant after 14 years – that I was fine with it, and that “it was time”.
And just like that, the moment passed. They were on their way somewhere. Probably a meeting. I was headed in a different direction – in every sense.
But I know that energy. I lived in it for years. And I know a lot of people reading this are still in it.
Whether you’ve already stepped away from corporate life – or you’re still very much in it – I want to share something that’s taken me a long time to see clearly.
That Familiar Corporate Energy
It’s been a couple of months since I left corporate life, but being in that lobby was like stepping back into a version of myself I used to wear like a second skin.
There’s a certain posture we take on in corporate spaces. An alertness. A tightness. A low-level buzz that runs through your nervous system, even when you’re “just” talking by the lifts. I felt it all – even though I wasn’t participating. Just observing. And for the first time, I realised how much of my former self was shaped by that energy.
Back then, I didn’t even notice it. Because when you’re in it, you don’t question it. You’re “on” all the time. You match the pace. You speak in acronyms. You adjust your tone, your energy, your posture – automatically. It becomes your default mode. Until one day, you leave… and notice how different it feels to live without it.
The Mask You Don’t Know You’re Wearing
We all wear masks, to some degree. But the corporate mask is a particularly convincing one. It’s not fake – it’s just… filtered. Sharpened. Polished. Strategic.
Over time, that persona starts to blur with who you actually are. You say things like, “This isn’t personal, it’s business.” You suppress emotion to seem more composed. You learn which parts of you are rewarded – and which ones are best left at home.
It’s subtle, and it happens slowly. You don’t wake up one day and think, I’m being inauthentic. You just get good at being what the job requires.
Brené Brown puts it best:
Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.
And the corporate world has a lot of unspoken rules about who you’re “supposed to be.”
Until the job ends. And you’re left asking:
Who am I without this persona? What parts of me were real – and what parts were survival mode?
The Nervous System Doesn’t Lie
One of the most profound changes I’ve noticed since leaving is how my body feels. The tension that used to sit in my chest and shoulders is gone. My sleep is deeper. I breathe differently. Even my voice sounds different – softer, slower, more mine.
I didn’t realise how much my nervous system was operating in a near-constant state of alert. Always checking Slack. Always prepping for the next meeting. Always bracing for the next urgent request.
Now, I can spot that energy a mile away – like I did in that lobby. It’s not bad. It’s not wrong. It’s just… intense. And when you live in it too long, it starts to feel normal. Necessary, even. But it’s not the only way to live. And it’s certainly not the only version of you that matters.
What If You Can’t Step Away?
Not everyone can take months away from work – and I get that. I’m quite a few months out now, but even before that, I had moments where I started to feel the edges of the corporate mask loosening.
During my two mental health breaks, I learned something important: You don’t need to disappear for six months to reconnect with yourself. Sometimes, it only takes a moment.
Even if you’re not in a position to step away right now, that doesn’t mean you’re stuck. Small cracks of self-connection can still form, even in the busiest days.
A pause.
A breath.
The willingness to notice what’s happening inside you – and to honour it.
Here’s what helped me, even when I was still in the thick of it:
- Noticing the shift. I started to see when I was “on” – performing, posturing, tensing up – and just acknowledging that helped. It was subtle, but powerful.
- Allowing space between moments. Even when my calendar was back-to-back, I found ways to claim 30 seconds between meetings to breathe. To soften my shoulders. To remind myself that I was a person, not a productivity machine.
- Giving myself permission to be more real. Sometimes that meant saying, “Actually, I don’t know,” or “That really impacted me.” Sometimes it meant turning the camera off and stretching while I listened. Sometimes it meant admitting I was struggling – not to everyone, but to someone.
- Finding safe spaces. I sought out people and places where I could speak in my real voice – in therapy, in private messages with trusted colleagues, in my journal. Anywhere that didn’t require performance.
- Believing it was worth it. This part matters. I had to decide that it was worth showing up as myself – even if only in pockets. That decision changed everything.
And actually, the friend I had lunch with that day is a great example of this. She’s still working in a high-pressure role, but she carries herself differently. There’s a presence about her that feels real, calm, and grounded – like she hasn’t been pulled back into that frantic energy. She’s natural, authentic, and somehow untouched by the chaos. Maybe it’s because she took a long break too, and her return to work is still recent. But it reminded me that it is possible. You can come back and still hold onto the parts of yourself you reclaimed while you were away.
Now, with this time and space, I’ve gained so much clarity.
Clarity I didn’t have when I was racing through my days, constantly in “on” mode.
And yes, that clarity has been deepened by this pause – but the truth is, the work and the learning had already started long before now. I was already waking up to these patterns. Already trying to loosen the grip. Already beginning to find myself again.
I’m using this clarity to share as much as I possibly can – not because I have it all figured out, but because I know how hard it can be to live in that high-performance space without losing parts of yourself.
And if even one person can begin this journey before they hit the same wall I did, it’s worth every word I write.
Final Thoughts
That day in the lobby reminded me of just how much our environment can shape who we become – and how powerful it is to step outside of it and take a breath.
If you’re still in that high-performance zone, I get it. I was there for years. And if you’re stepping away – by choice or by force – know this: it might feel strange at first. But it’s also a chance to meet yourself again. The real you. Not the polished one. Not the always-on one. Just you.
And you might find, like I did, that he/she/they has been waiting patiently for you all along.
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