For a long time, I was stuck in a loop, asking myself the same questions over and over again.
Am I feeling like this because of menopause? Is this just another layer of burnout? Or is it the emotional detox I’ve been going through since I quit drinking? Maybe it’s still the post-Covid effect? Maybe it’s past trauma finally surfacing?
I wanted an exact explanation. If I could just label it correctly, maybe I could fix it. That’s the part of me that craves control and clarity, wanting a diagnosis that would make it easier to find a cure.
But here’s what I’ve come to realise: it was probably a combination of all those things, and maybe I don’t even need to know exactly why.
The Menopause Factor: When Women Question Everything
I know menopause can be a huge trigger for reflection and change. It’s a time when many women question their relationships, jobs, and sense of purpose. Hormonal fluctuations can bring mood swings, fatigue, and a heightened sensitivity to what we’ve been tolerating. Suddenly, the roles we’ve played for years begin to feel suffocating, and we start asking:
What’s next for me?
I can see how menopause might have contributed to what I’ve been feeling. But I know this isn’t just about menopause. My burnout didn’t come out of nowhere, and it isn’t something I can brush off as hormonal changes. Years of overwork, emotional pressure, and people-pleasing have taken their toll. Menopause may have amplified those feelings, or messed with my resistance, but the foundation was already there.
Burnout: More Than Just Being Tired
Burnout has been a major part of my story. It’s not just exhaustion – it’s emotional, physical, and mental depletion that seeps into every area of life. I didn’t lose passion for my job because I lacked ability or dedication. I lost passion because I gave too much of myself for too long without ever feeling like it was enough, rarely switching off, and not taking enough time for true rest.
Even with my understanding of burnout, I kept questioning myself:
What if this isn’t burnout?
What if it’s menopause?
Or trauma?
The need to find the “right” cause became its own form of overthinking.
But that’s burnout’s trap – it convinces you to keep pushing for answers even when you need rest.
Burnout isn’t just about overwork; it’s about the way we treat ourselves and the emotional weight we carry.
The Emotional Detox of Quitting Drinking
When I quit drinking, I learned that alcohol had been my Band-Aid. It was the medicine that dulled discomfort, masked anxiety, and gave me a temporary escape.
I saw Robbie Williams on a Facebook Reel saying:
When you take away the medicine, you’re left with all the symptoms and why you became ill in the first place.
This made so much sense to me – when you take away that medicine and stop numbing yourself, you have to find another way to deal with the underlying pain.
I didn’t quit drinking because I fully understood the emotional fallout waiting for me. I quit because I was tired of making a fool of myself, feeling miserable the next day, and hating myself for it.
I didn’t want to waste any more time stuck in that cycle.
But quitting didn’t magically fix everything. It opened the door to something much harder: the emotional detox.
Old wounds, unresolved feelings, and buried memories began to surface. It wasn’t just about the alcohol any more – it was about why I had been drinking in the first place.
I don’t think everyone who quits drinking necessarily goes through this kind of detox, but for those of us with trauma or long-standing struggles, it can be part of the healing process.
And isn’t trauma relative? Don’t we all carry something with us – whether it’s a difficult childhood, significant loss, or just the weight of life’s challenges?
Quitting drinking forced me to confront things I had buried, but that confrontation, while painful, has been transformational.
The Post-Covid Effect
We can’t ignore the impact of Covid. The lockdowns, the isolation, and the forced reflection fundamentally changed how we see ourselves and our lives. Many of us had time to sit with our thoughts, and that wasn’t always comfortable.
Some people changed careers. Others ended relationships. For me, it added another layer to the introspection I was already doing. Why did I ever tolerate certain aspects of my life pre-Covid?
The pandemic didn’t cause my burnout, but it stripped away distractions and made it impossible to ignore what wasn’t working.
What Makes Me Special? Nothing. And Everything.
Sometimes, I catch myself thinking:
What makes me special? Why do I feel as if my struggles are unique when so many people are going through something similar?
We see it all over the media – burnout, menopause, trauma recovery, post-Covid reflections. Everyone seems to be navigating something.
But at the same time, what I’m feeling is uniquely mine. My experience is personal, and I don’t need to justify it or explain it perfectly.
For a long time, I tried to pinpoint the exact cause, as if knowing would be the key to fixing it. But after all the overthinking and analysing, I’ve realised this: It doesn’t really matter why.
What matters is that I’m feeling this way, and that’s reason enough to give myself grace.
It’s Ok Not to Be Ok
Whether it’s menopause, burnout, trauma, or all of the above, my feelings are valid.
Acknowledging them is more important than diagnosing them perfectly. Understanding the possible causes has helped me – learning about hormonal shifts, recovery from burnout, and how to sit with my emotions during the emotional detox – but the most important lesson has been this:
It’s ok not to be ok.
I don’t need to have all the answers to heal. I need to be kind to myself, give myself space to feel, and let go of the need for a neat explanation. The healing process isn’t linear, and it’s not always clear. But that’s ok.
The Excitement of Transformation
Despite the messiness and confusion, I’m genuinely excited. This feels like a pivotal moment – a chance to peel back the layers and discover what’s next. I don’t know exactly where I’m headed, but I do know that growth doesn’t happen without discomfort.
Maybe it’s menopause. Maybe it’s burnout. Maybe it’s the emotional detox from quitting drinking. Or maybe it’s just life showing me that change is necessary.
Whatever the cause, I’m embracing this transformation. It’s messy at times, but it’s also full of possibility. And that’s where I’m choosing to focus.
You Don’t Need to Know Why to Heal
If you’re questioning why you feel the way you do, I want you to know this: You don’t need to have a clear answer. Your feelings are valid, and healing doesn’t depend on a perfect diagnosis. What matters is how you take care of yourself, how you navigate this moment, and how you use the tools available to you.
Transformation doesn’t need an explanation to be meaningful, it just needs your willingness to grow.
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