Burnout is often misunderstood as simply having too much work. But the causes of burnout are usually far more complex. Workload can play a role, but internal pressures, life circumstances, emotional patterns and misaligned values can all contribute.
Four years ago, I hit what I now recognise as stage 12 of burnout. I was completely empty and depressed, even though my life seemed good on the outside – perhaps even enviable to some. When I wasn’t crying, I was on the verge of tears, stuck in a constant state of emotional exhaustion.
The exhaustion was so deep it felt like my body had given up, and I was emotionally drained in ways I couldn’t fully explain. I knew I hadn’t gotten there overnight, but I had no idea how or when things had spiralled to this extent.
In the aftermath, I did what I always do – I researched. I needed an explanation. In my googling, I discovered the 12 stages of burnout and traced my journey across them, so that I could identify when I reached each stage. My goal was to understand how I had got there in the hope that it would help me figure out how to get out – and, more importantly, how to avoid ever getting back there again.
That first time reaching stage 12 was a painful wake-up call. I had ignored the warning signs for too long. But years later, even after making significant changes in my life, I found myself hovering around stages 9 or 10 again.
This time, it looked and felt different. I wasn’t drinking anymore, so there was no more drinking to blackout. Some of the physical symptoms had resolved, but others had reappeared.
I was better (but still not yet great) at managing boundaries. I was in a less stressful role and the workload was manageable. I wasn’t in complete collapse, but those familiar feelings in my mind and body told me burnout was lurking nearby.
It was during this time that a friend made a comment to me that really stuck:
How can you be burnt out if your job isn’t that busy?
It made me realise how misunderstood burnout is.
According to the World Health Organisation, burnout is an occupational phenomenon characterised by emotional exhaustion, mental distance from work and reduced professional efficacy.
In other words, burnout is about much more than workload alone.
Burnout is a complex, multi-faceted experience shaped by both internal and external factors. I want to share some of those factors with you, not just from what I’ve researched, but from what I’ve lived.
The Hidden Causes of Burnout
The Inner Taskmaster: When “Good Enough” Is Never Enough
One of the biggest contributors to my burnout was my inner taskmaster – a part of me that developed as a coping mechanism during childhood. For years, it drove me to overachieve, to work harder, faster, and better, believing that if I could just stay in control, everything would be ok. But the taskmaster didn’t know when to stop.
Even when I wasn’t “that busy” by conventional standards, the taskmaster made everything feel urgent and overwhelming. Small tasks became monumental. I felt an internal panic, like I needed to move faster and stay on top of everything or I’d fall behind.
It wasn’t until I did some deep work, including a therapy session focused on Internal Family Systems (IFS), that I started to understand this part of myself. The taskmaster wasn’t evil – it was trying to protect me – but it had become so relentless that it wasn’t letting me breathe.
Misaligned Values: When Your Work No Longer Feeds Your Soul
For many years, I worked hard, poured my heart into my job, and was proud of what I accomplished. But somewhere along the way, the work I was doing no longer aligned with who I was becoming. I wanted to focus on mental health and wellbeing, to create meaningful change in people’s lives, but my day-to-day tasks were pulling me in a different direction.
Burnout doesn’t just happen when you’re overworked – it can also happen when you’re working on things that feel meaningless or disconnected from your core values. When you spend years giving your all to something that no longer resonates, it’s like trying to pour water into a bottomless cup. You give and give, but it never feels like enough.
Lack of Recognition: When Your Efforts Go Unseen
Burnout thrives in environments where your hard work goes unnoticed or under-appreciated. I’ve had moments in my career where I felt invisible, where the blood, sweat, and tears I put into projects didn’t seem to matter. Or having an entire year’s worth of work completely scrapped.
After years of giving my best, it was disheartening to feel like no one noticed, and nothing I did seemed to make much difference. This lack of recognition can chip away at your motivation and self-worth. You start to wonder, “Why am I even doing this?”
Personal Challenges: When Life Outside of Work Takes a Toll
Burnout isn’t just about work – it’s also shaped by personal challenges. Family responsibilities, caregiving duties, or health issues can take an emotional toll, depleting the energy and capacity you have left to give at work.
For me, supporting various family members in difficult situations added another layer of responsibility and emotional strain. For others, it may be raising children or dealing with personal health struggles. When these challenges pile up, they compound the mental and physical exhaustion, making burnout more likely.
Passion Projects: When What You Love Becomes Overwhelming
Passion projects can be a double-edged sword. They’re meant to bring joy and fulfilment, but when you take on too many, they can become another source of pressure. I had taken on so many passion projects (ironically mostly related to workplace mental health and wellbeing!) that I had made myself busy, even though my actual job at that time wasn’t excessively demanding.
This type of self-imposed busyness can be deceiving. From the outside, it may not look like you’re overburdened, but internally, it can feel like you’re constantly juggling too much. Passion doesn’t protect you from burnout if it’s not balanced.
Trauma and Unresolved Emotional Baggage
Burnout isn’t just about the present – it’s often rooted in the past. For me, unresolved trauma played a significant role. The inner taskmaster that kept me in overdrive wasn’t born out of nowhere – it was a response to chaos and instability during my early years.
Trauma can create patterns of people-pleasing, perfectionism, and the fear of failure. Even when you logically know you’re doing enough, there’s a part of you that’s afraid to slow down.
Quitting drinking was one of the ways I began to face this head-on. I realised that alcohol had been a form of escape, numbing the discomfort I didn’t want to confront. Letting go of it forced me to truly face my emotional baggage and start healing.
Ignoring Physical Warning Signs: When Your Body Tells the Truth
Burnout doesn’t just live in the mind – it shows up in the body. For years, I ignored the physical signs:
- Persistent fatigue
- Brain fog and inability to focus
- Digestive issues
- Muscle tension
- Nerve pain
- Heart palpitations
- Three-day migraines
- Poor sleep
I convinced myself that I could push through, that rest wasn’t an option. But the body often knows before the mind does. Burnout isn’t just mental exhaustion; it’s physical depletion. Learning to listen to my body has been one of the most valuable lessons in my recovery. I now pay attention to the early warning signs and take action before things escalate.
Emotional Exhaustion: When You’re Always “On”
Even when I wasn’t working, my mind didn’t stop. I was constantly “on”, thinking about the next task, the next responsibility, the next thing I needed to fix. There was no space to truly rest.
Emotional exhaustion is often overlooked, but it’s a major contributor to burnout. You can’t recharge if your brain is always running in the background, like an app that never closes.
One of the most important changes I made was learning to give myself permission to rest – not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and sometimes even socially, especially when I had nothing left in the tank.
Rebuilding After Burnout: What I’ve Learned
Recovering from burnout isn’t something you can achieve just by taking a break or reading about it. It requires deeper work – whether through therapy, self-reflection, lifestyle changes, or confronting the patterns that led you there in the first place. I’ve had setbacks, moments where I felt like I was slipping back into old patterns. But I’ve also learned a lot along the way:
- It’s ok to slow down. Rest isn’t laziness – it’s necessary.
- Your worth isn’t tied to productivity. You’re enough, even when you’re not “doing.”
- Boundaries are essential. Learning to say no, both to others and to myself, has been life-changing.
Burnout taught me that healing requires more than just taking time off work. It requires understanding the deeper patterns and the causes of burnout, addressing the root issues, and creating a life that aligns with who you truly are.
If you’re reading this and feeling like burnout is knocking on your door, I want you to know that you’re not alone. Burnout isn’t a sign of weakness – it’s a signal that something needs to change. And change is possible. I’m living proof of that.
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