I had a strange dream the other night – the kind that stays with you long after you wake up. It started off light and funny, almost playful. But by the end, I found myself unexpectedly emotional. And when I sat with it the next morning, I realised it wasn’t really about cake at all. It was about permission. About belonging. About being your real self at work.
I often have strange dreams when I’m going through something. If you’re interested: here’s another one I wrote about a couple of months ago.
Anyway, back to this dream…..
The Dream About Cake
In the dream, I was back at the office. I didn’t work there anymore – I didn’t have access or a badge – but somehow I’d made it inside the building. I was visiting someone and sitting quietly in a cubicle. It felt familiar, like slipping into an old routine.
Beside me, in the cubicle next to mine, sat another woman. She stood up and said: “There’s caramel slice up there – go grab some!” She headed off, and I followed soon after.
When I sat back down, I had one piece on my plate. She had three! I laughed and said, “I should’ve grabbed more,” and she smiled and replied, “Go on, there’s still plenty.”
I had wanted more – but I was being polite, holding back the way we often do.
So I went back. The caramel slice was gone – but the table was now covered with all sorts of other cakes, each one looking better than the last. I picked three of the ones I liked best, brought them back to my desk, and ate every bite.
And with that, something in the air changed.
Everyone on our floor was happy – laughing, chatting, light. The platters on the table were mostly empty. People looked satisfied. Full. Not just from cake – but from something else, too. It felt like we were all allowing ourselves something – we weren’t holding back.
Then we all headed off to an all-hands meeting on one of the other floors. On the way there, we passed the kitchen – full of hustle and bustle. The chefs were pulling trays of hot sausage rolls and savoury pastries from the ovens. The smell was incredible. I remember thinking, We didn’t get sausage rolls. As if reading my mind, the chef smiled warmly at me. “They’re coming,” he said.
Maybe we ate the cakes too soon, I thought – with a pang of guilt.
Or, maybe we just weren’t afraid to enjoy what was already there?
As we kept walking, feeling happy and alive, we passed through the other floors and noticed their platters of cake were relatively untouched. And the people? They were quiet. Stiff. No laughter. No warmth. Everyone sitting straight and formal, like they were waiting for permission to relax – but no one was going to give it.
When we got to the all-hands meeting, the room felt sterile and robotic. People were sitting silently in neat rows, with no energy, no spark. It was such a contrast to the floor we’d come from.
And then, as we left the meeting and I found myself walking alone through one of those quiet floors – I suddenly felt overcome with emotion and on the verge of tears. The joy of before had faded, and what remained was the ache of realising that I no longer worked there. I wasn’t part of it anymore. And even though I’d already grieved that loss in waking life – here it was again, rising up in a dream.
I started crying. Quietly. Trying not to be seen. But part of me was hoping someone might notice – a familiar face, a brief connection. But I passed mostly strangers. A couple of people I half-recognised saw me – but looked away.
And then the dream faded.
It Wasn’t About Cake
When I woke up, the dream stayed with me. I knew it wasn’t really about the cake – it was about permission. How often do we deny ourselves the things we truly want, or hold back to be polite, not daring to go first – even when we know it feels right?
At first, I took just one piece even though I wanted more. I didn’t want to seem greedy. I didn’t want to be “too much.” But when I saw someone else happily taking three pieces, eating them without hesitation, going back for more – it gave me permission to stop holding back. And when I did, I felt lighter. Happier. More like myself. And then everyone else did too.
That moment was about more than cake. It was about being your real self at work – letting go of the careful, edited version of you. Choosing joy. Dropping the performance. Allowing yourself to want what you want.
Some Floors Stay Quiet
Those other floors in the dream – the ones with relatively untouched cake and silent people – reminded me of all the workplaces I’ve seen that look polished and well-stocked on the outside, but hollow on the inside. Everyone’s waiting for someone else to go first. To take a risk. To be a little messy. And so nothing moves.
But on our floor, the energy was different. The plates were empty, but the people were full – with conversation, connection, ease. That floor was alive. And not because of the sugar. Because people felt safe enough to be real.
And that’s what I grieved. Not the job title or the calendar of meetings. What I really missed was that kind of energy – the feeling of people relaxing into themselves. The kind of space where it’s ok to laugh too loud, and to be fully human.
Being Your Real Self at Work Isn’t a Luxury – It’s the Key
I’ve worked in many environments over the years. And most companies talk about culture and values, the most meaningful moments – the ones people remember – are the ones when people stop holding back.
They don’t happen because of a mission statement. They happen because someone creates space for realness. Someone laughs, admits they’re tired, says they want another piece of cake. And suddenly, others realise they can too.
And that’s when the good stuff happens.
Not just in dreams – but in real workplaces, too.
A Quick Reflection on Where This Dream May Have Come From
Now, in reality, I know this could all have just have been a sugar high – and let’s be honest, I still wouldn’t pile three slices of cake on my plate straight away, because I’d want to make sure everyone else had some first. But humour me here – this was a dream, and dreams are often trying to tell us something less literal.
Sometimes dreams pull from little fragments of our day-to-day life. A few mornings ago, someone from my regular morning park group brought along a homemade cake to share. We all stood around in the winter sunshine, laughing and talking and eating cake out of a container – no occasion, no reason, just a moment of simple generosity. It felt lovely: that kind of easy, warm connection that doesn’t ask for anything in return.
And maybe that feeling wove its way into the dream.
There’s also someone from my old workplace who offered to help me after I left. They told me to get in touch this month about something specific, that they’d be ready. I’ve emailed, I’ve left messages, but no reply. I’m sure they’re just busy – but it leaves me wondering if it was one of those offers made with the best intentions and then forgotten. Out of sight, out of mind. And it lands like the dream – being visible, but not really seen. Especially now that I’m no longer “in the circle.”
Maybe that’s what the dream was processing too – not just the joy of cake and chatter, but the quiet ache of realising how quickly you can disappear once you’re not in the building anymore.
Maybe I am still grieving my corporate job, in small ways. It truly was a great place to work, and there were moments that felt incredibly real. But I think part of that grief is also realising that not everything you thought was solid actually was. Some things were real, some things were polite, some things were fleeting.
And your nervous system doesn’t always know how to separate the two – it just knows that something feels different now.
Final Thoughts: If You’re Holding Back, You’re Not Alone
If you’ve ever held back from speaking up, asking for more, or simply being yourself at work – I see you.
If you’ve ever felt like you had to earn your place by being careful, quiet, or “nice” – I’ve been there.
But here’s the thing: the most human spaces are also the most powerful ones. The ones where people are real, honest, imperfect, generous. The ones where someone goes first – and others feel safe enough to follow.
Being your real self at work doesn’t mean being unfiltered or reckless. It means being whole. It means showing up without squeezing yourself into a version you think others expect.
So maybe today, take the second slice.
Say the honest thing.
Start the conversation that everyone else is waiting for.
And if someone else does it first – don’t look away.
Look up, smile… and maybe grab a piece of cake.
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