After countless attempts over the years, I finally quit drinking alcohol in June 2023 – a key step in my burnout recovery.
There’s a lot out there about what it’s like and what to expect when you quit drinking, especially short-term. But I want to share something different – what it’s been like for me after more than a year alcohol-free.
Quitting drinking isn’t always about physical dependence. For many binge drinkers, like I was – the struggle lies in breaking free from a cycle of “fun” nights out followed by days – or even weeks – of hangxiety and self-loathing.
Alcohol can feel like the social glue, the celebration spark, or the way to unwind after a long week. But for me, it became the thing holding me back from the life I wanted.
It’s often not until alcohol has you fully in its clutches that you realise it’s a problem.
Sure, there were nights I had one or two drinks and was fine, but there was always a 50/50 chance I wouldn’t find my “off” button – and I’d overdo it again.
When I experienced burnout, my binge drinking got worse, and I learned that it was keeping me stuck in a loop. I quit because I was tired of making a fool of myself, hating myself for it, and spending days miserable afterward – only to do it all over again the next weekend.
While people saw the “fun” version of me when I was out, they didn’t see the version replaying embarrassing moments and hating myself for a week almost every time I drank.
Why We Keep Drinking: The Illusion of “Fun”
For a long time, alcohol felt like a shortcut to connection, joy, and relaxation. At the time, it seemed to make everything easier:
- The conversations flowed.
- The dancing felt freer.
- The stress of the day melted away.
But there was a cost.
Alcohol gave me temporary relief, but it always left me with longer-term pain. I thought I was having fun, but the truth was, I was numbing myself.
Alcohol had become a band-aid for feelings I didn’t realise I needed to face – anxiety, stress, self-doubt, and burnout. The illusion of fun came with a heavy price:
- Mornings filled with regret.
- A lingering sense of shame.
Quitting wasn’t just about stopping the drinking. It was about breaking that cycle and giving myself the chance to feel something real again – and to stop hating myself.
I knew I was ruining my potential.
The Firsts: Navigating Key Moments Without Alcohol
One of the biggest challenges when you quit drinking is facing the “firsts.”
- The first night out at a bar.
- The first wedding.
- The first party where everyone is toasting with champagne.
- The first holiday.
These moments were filled with anxiety because alcohol had always been my crutch – how would I enjoy these events without it?
On a cruise I had booked a year before, complete with a prepaid drinks package, it felt strange not to “make the most” of all the drinks available to me. I had to get creative with non-alcoholic options.
At first, it was uncomfortable, but by the end, I was enjoying the experience. Now, I love cruises and any type of holiday alcohol free!
It seems a shame to me if someone can’t enjoy a holiday without alcohol. Surely, the experience of a new destination, beautiful scenery, great food, and relaxation should be enough? If drinking is the only thing making a trip enjoyable, isn’t that a sign that something deeper is at play?
What you’ll likely feel during these firsts:
- Awkwardness as you adjust to social settings without alcohol.
- Anxiety about what others will think (and if they’ll pressure you to drink).
- FOMO when others seem to be having fun.
What Helped Me:
- Have a plan. I prepared responses like, “I’m on a health kick”, or, “I’ve got an early start tomorrow.” As I gained confidence, I started saying, “I don’t drink.” When people asked why, I’d reply, “Because I stopped enjoying it a long time ago.”
- Bring a substitute drink. Holding something like sparkling water, zero beer, or a mocktail reduced the awkwardness.
- Find someone supportive. A friend or partner who understood my decision helped me feel less alone.
After each “first,” I realised that alcohol wasn’t what made the experience meaningful – it was the people I was with and the memories I created.
That cruise, which I had feared would be miserable, turned out to be one of the most memorable trips of my life – and when I say memorable – I mean I actually remembered every moment of it.
Rediscovering Fun: The Shift in What Brings You Joy
One of the things that scared me about quitting was the fear that I’d lose my ability to have fun.
- Nights out at bars.
- Late-night dancing.
- Boozy lunches.
…had always been central to my social life.
Would life without alcohol be boring?
At first, yes – it felt that way. Social events didn’t have the same spark, and I worried that I had lost my “fun side.”
But as time passed, I realised that fun hadn’t disappeared – it had evolved.
Before quitting:
Fun meant long boozy lunches, late nights, loud music, and blurry memories.
After quitting:
Fun became morning walks, deep conversations, creative projects, and exploring new hobbies.
The shift also affected my friendships.
Some relationships naturally faded as our interests no longer aligned – and that’s ok.
The friends who stayed were the ones who truly cared about me, and I made new friends who shared my evolving interests.
Substance Use and Mental Health: The Deeper Connection
One of the most important things I’ve learned on my burnout recovery journey – through Mental Health First Aid training – is the strong connection between substance use and mental health issues like anxiety and depression.
The two often feed off each other.
Alcohol can temporarily relieve stress or numb difficult emotions, but in the long run, it makes things worse.
I didn’t fully understand this connection when I first quit drinking. I just knew I felt stuck. But once I stopped drinking, I began to see how alcohol had masked my deeper struggles with burnout, anxiety, and self-worth.
It was during this training that I had an aha moment – realising all this time I’d been feeding the monster. That’s when I knew I’d never drink again.
Why Addressing Both Is Important:
- Alcohol can mask symptoms of anxiety or depression, making it hard to know what’s really going on.
- Treating the substance use first often provides the clarity needed to address the underlying mental health issue.
- Once you stop numbing yourself, you can begin the process of healing fully.
Therapy played a huge role in helping me unpack and work through those emotions.
The Emotional Detox: Healing on a Deeper Level
Even after facing the “firsts” and adjusting to my new life, something deeper remained:
💭 Emotions I had buried for years.
By then, I understood the correlation between mental health and substance use. But once the physical habit was broken, those emotions started to surface – and I mean really surface.
After a particularly busy period with family, I felt a wave of depression. It was that heavy, literally “depressed” weighed-down feeling you can’t shake.
And I was already on antidepressants!
I couldn’t understand why I still felt this way, but after making the decision and taking the time to “do the work”, I felt lighter – like my whole body and mind had let go of something heavy.
What You Might Experience During the Emotional Detox:
- Unresolved emotions, like trauma, grief or regret, coming to the surface.
- Intense vulnerability and emotional release.
- A sense of clarity about past experiences and patterns.
If you are someone who doesn’t carry a lot of emotional baggage, you may not experience this phase as intensely – or at all. But for those of us who used alcohol to suppress deeper emotions, this can be one of the most challenging yet transformational parts of the journey.
Therapy, especially methods like Internal Family Systems (IFS), helped me work through this phase and understand that the emotional detox wasn’t a setback – it was part of the healing process.
Persistence Pays Off: Making It Stick
If you’ve tried to quit before and relapsed, don’t give up.
I had many false starts before this time around, but every attempt taught me something.
Even though I didn’t experience doubts this time, I did in the past – and those experiences were part of the reason this time finally stuck.
What You Need to Know:
- Setbacks are not failures – they’re lessons.
- Each attempt builds your understanding of what works for you.
- One day, the decision will feel natural, and the doubts will fade.
The key is to keep trying. One day, you’ll wake up and realise that you’ve broken the cycle for good.
The Freedom on the Other Side
Quitting drinking didn’t just give me clearer mornings – it gave me a new sense of freedom.
I no longer feel controlled by the cycle of bingeing and regret.
Life feels richer and more meaningful because I am fully present for it.
The real magic of celebrations, vacations, and social events isn’t in the drinks – it’s in:
- The people I am with.
- The places I am at.
- The memories I can remember.
Because life doesn’t get better with drinking – it gets better when you open yourself up to your full potential and realise just how rich and abundant it can be without numbing.
Related Posts:
- Why I Drank the Way I Did: Understanding My Missing Off Switch
- Two Years Alcohol Free: What I’ve Learned From Quitting Alcohol and Choosing Myself
- How Do You Have Fun Without Alcohol?
- Is It the Alcohol or the Individual?
- Discovering Myself After Quitting Alcohol
- Emotional Detox After a Year of Sobriety
Leave a Reply to Lifelong GrowingCancel reply